Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Feminism aka Feminazi.

Feminism equals man hater Right? Not really. At least not all of us.Well not completely. Just read on!

I seriously think of original feminism as modern day humanism. You'll see me say original feminism and modern day feminism a lot. I separate the two because I feel that modern day feminism and the modern day feminist movement have been steered the wrong direction.

Original feminism was started because they wanted women to have equal rights as men. We're not there yet but we are heading slowly in the right direction. However, modern day feminism has turned into a huge man hating cluster of crap.

As a mother of 2 daughters I want them to grow up in a world where they are considered equal to men. Now let me tell you I believe that all people should be paid or hired based upon their experience and how well they do their job. Not whether they are black or white, gay or straight, male or female, etc. I want my kids to be judged based on their merits and what they can add to the world not what's dangling or nor dangling between their legs.

As a mother of a son I don't want him to be raised in a feministic society where he is told he's the weaker and less valued sex. I don't want my daughter's thinking that just because they are woman that it makes them better than anyone else. This is why I have a hard time calling myself a feminist. I have seen some of the people on the forefront speaking out for feminism today and I must tell you that they can be some of the most vial people on earth. No wonder people bash feminism. The one's yelling the loudest need to shut their big fat yappers! This is why I have a hard time calling myself a feminist.

I will however call myself a humanist. As I work for woman's equality I also work for equality of all sexes, races, etc.

Let me explain what I mean by equality. We as people are not individually equal. We all bring different things to the table. Some of us are better than other's at many different things. There will never be equality in that sense. We are all, however, entitled to the same rights and opportunities. Equality in freedom and opportunity. That is a cause I worth fighting for.

Feminism is still needed but the movement needs a face-lift because it's turning into a monster. If you want to try to change that good for you! Stay and try to direct the cause back into a good direction. Either that or you can just leave modern feminism behind and join Humanism.

Equality for all.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Having Kids is Insanity

Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.


I hate those people who cheerily announce how amazing mommyhood is. The one's who you go visit and their son Ashtin is always running around in the coolest threads, the house is spotless, and there isn't a toy in sight because little Ash just thinks toys are so last season. Meanwhile I'm in pj's with that morning's oatmeal smeared in my hair. Yeah those people make me sick and are probably on something because motherhood is chaos and there is no way someone who isn't a Stepford wife has their shit that much together. Especially with children.

I love being a mother and motherhood is something special. I love the madness it brings me but no matter how much I try I just can't tell you how amazing it is with a straight face. You'd think I needed to be in a straight jacket. Kids are insanity. Nobody enjoys hearing the words, "WIPE MY BUTT!" yelled through the house. Nobody likes getting to bed at 2am because you were trying to get things in order before the evil minions wake up and destroy everything and get woken up at 7:30am to greet the day... In fact I hate the sun most days. Nobody likes spending their life savings on a new wardrobe for their kids only to have to take out a new loan on their house every 6 months to buy them a new one. Nobody likes it and I mean NOBODY.

I could list off all the crappy stuff I have to do every day and that being a mother has turned me into a hermit. I'm a recluse and my main conversation happens with a 4 year old who can only talk about Captain America. Think I'm joking? I'm not. Kids are obsessive. Did I also mention how he picks his nose and eats it and then wants to share Cheerios with his mommy? I love you sweetie but I'll pass on the booger cereal.

Joking aside motherhood is something I absolutely love. I love the fact that with every accomplishment they make I can take a look at them and just realize that even though since I'm their mother they are practically screwed out of being normal that they are great and I'm not messing up too bad.

You remember a couple paragraphs back how I said I could list off all the crappy stuff? I know it was way up there but I need you to remember. Well for all the crappy stuff I can list off I can double or triple the amount of good stuff. Seeing their smiling faces every day, just holding them in my arms. I am the luckiest girl in the world. Being a parent is messy, sticky chaos. Kids are insanity but I'm okay with living life in a straight jacket.

Guess Who's Guest Vlogging?!

Had a blast guest vlogging with a fellow YouTuber and real life friend of mine. Check it out!

The Friendship Tag!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

My Aunt Was Diagnosed With Cancer

Just this week my aunt Tina was diagnosed with cancer. We're waiting on some results to know the exact origins of the cancer. Already she is being faced with buying medicine she cannot afford. After insurance a medicine she is taking is going to cost her $1,200 just for a 4 day supply. I don't usually ask but please donate. If you cannot afford to help financially please help get the word out by passing on the link.

Thank you so much,
Momma Bear

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Atheism Saved My Life

When I first met my husband I was a devout Mormon. He was a committed Seventh-day Adventist. We were worlds apart but our strong faith in the lord is what brought us together.

After we were married it proved to be a bigger challenge though. I wanted to get into the celestial kingdom and in order to do that I needed a temple marriage and a husband who was as Mormon as I was. I didn't realize it at the time but this struck me to the core and started me questioning the doctrine that I had been ingrained with my entire life.

I was an adult child suffering from severe depression. I spent years in and out of hospitals taking all different kinds of antidepressant cocktails. When I moved out of my parent's house I couldn't even make a decision on my own (a problem that irritated my husband). I had never been given the chance to be an adult and think for myself growing up. I was a mess.

Through it all I clung to my faith. Asking god for guidance. Begging him to lessen my pain. I kept being told to submit to the lord and lay my problems down at his feet. I was weaker than weak but god had a reason for bringing me these trials. I trusted in him to come through but I never felt more alone.

I'm a shadow of what I once was. I still have my struggles but I am 4 years hospitalization and antidepressant free. Many people have asked me what happened. How did I go from begging for death to seeing so much beauty in life? I always answer the same. I stopped begging god to fix everything. I stopped laying my problems at his feet. I started taking my life into my own hands. God wasn't testing me by giving me depression. It's something shitty that some people have the misfortune of dealing with. God didn't give me the task of falling in love with a nonmember so I could bring him to the true church or forever be punished. Bad things happen to good people and there is no rhyme or reason. The day I gave up religion was the beginning of my healing.

When I put my faith in god I had just given up. I had pretty much said that I couldn't handle my life. All my time spent praying and begging god to help was better spent opening my eyes. By surrendering to god I had taken the harder road without even realizing it. I was expecting him to fix my broken spirit when it's something I was strong enough to fix all along.

It's not been easy and anyone who suffers from depression knows that it's an ongoing struggle but it doesn't have to define you.

Religion tells you that you are weak and you need god to fix you. I was weak and religion kept me there. Letting go of faith gave me the strength to fight. Strength I didn't even know I had.

I didn't "lose" religion. I threw it out with the bath water and I don't regret a second.
Atheism saved me. I saved me by embracing reason and discarding myth.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Happy 7th Anniversary to me and Papa Bear!

8 years ago back in the stone age when people communicated with each other via msn, aol, or yahoo messenger I logged into my yahoo account to have a surprise message from a guy I didn't know. I honestly have no idea what exactly it said but it was along the lines of, "Hi my name is Shane and I work with your sister. She said we have a lot in common and said we'd get along so I thought I'd message you."       

We talked a good bit on messenger before agreeing to meet. He took me to Starbucks after I got out of school and we talked. We met a few more times for coffee before he asked me to be his girlfriend in September of 2005. He asked me to marry him on Thanksgiving of that year.

In November of 2006 we had our first child and then we got married December 21st of 2006 while he was on Christmas leave from the Army. 

Nothing about our relationship went slow but it has been an amazing journey. I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. He's my rock and my strength. Over the years we haven't grown apart but managed to grow into our own on similar paths. We have more in common now after 8 years together than we did in the beginning. We grew up together and it's an absolutely amazing journey.

To quote my husband, "7 years down, the rest of our lives to go!" 

I love you papa bear. Forever and always.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

RIP Ember

My kids have lost goldfish and awhile back we buried a baby guinea that was born not fully developed but nothing prepared us for having to tell Smiley that her pet had passed away.

Ember was a very sweet cavy and when she joined our family a year and a half ago Smiley was ecstatic. She cared for her so deeply.

A couple months ago she started getting cysts. About a week ago she had what seemed to be a stroke. When Smiley saw her all droopy she cried.

Ember passed away tonight and when I told her she started sobbing and the only one who could comfort her was her daddy. He cried with her. When a girl with such a strong beautiful smile is bawling her eyes out it really breaks your heart. It rips at your insides.

We're going to bury her tomorrow at her mamaw and papaw's house and Smiley is skipping school. I'm going to try to make her day special to keep her mind off of her loss.

I hate seeing my kids hurting. It's the worst thing ever.

RIP Ember.